Now this actually happened a couple of days ago, but I needed a bit of time to gather myself before writing. I also had to briefly leave the state so that took up a little of my time! More on that later. If you’re not familiar with BDSM or just don’t get the appeal, this post isn’t going to make a lot of sense to you. So let me start with a disclaimer.
I had a painfully average childhood. Mum, Dad, two siblings. Nothing bad happened to me sexually. My parents are still married. I have no daddy issues. I was never touched by a creeper uncle. I lived the stereotypical average childhood all Australian children were supposed to have. I am not damaged. I am not crazy. I chose this.
Now we can move forward.
Yesterday I played with a good friend of mine, my friendly neighbourhood sadist. He pushes my limits, he takes care of me, he is good to me.
A short list of toys used yesterday, you can use you imagination as two how.
- Anal plugs
- Reciprocating saw
- Anal hook
- Assortment of canes
- Dragon tail whip
Now being a sadist he likes to give pain. As a submissive I get pleasure taking it for him. I don’t like being caned. In itself it is not enjoyable. But when I see how pleased he is with me for taking it, I get enjoyment.
That’s statement is one I don’t expect people outside of the bdsm world to understand. I understand that feeling pain for someone else’s pleasure is something that most can’t identify with. And that’s cool. But it’s one of my things.
There were five canes of varying sizes. I was to take five strokes of each, count the strokes and then report as to how it felt in relation to the other canes, give feedback as it were. After each five strokes I was comforted. Told how well I did. Caressed and soothed. Before he continued he always checked if I was ok to keep going. I had a safe word. And so we went until I had received all twenty five strokes.
At that point it was a mix of relief because it was over, pride because I took it all and exhaustion because though it doesn’t seem like much, taking a beating like that is draining on the mind and body. He held me, my breathing steadied and I slowly came back together. (Do we all remember subspace from a few exhibits ago?) We came together and fucked and both got release before laying together for awhile. After he made sure I was fine, there was no break down or tears or immediate sub drop (head to Google again, folks) he left me to recuperate.
I have the marks from our play on my ass and thighs, yes they hurt, but in a way that is something special. It remind me of the play, of my achievement, of the friend who cares deeply about me. I’m proud of my marks. They’re part of who I am.
Of course when muggles ask I tell I slipped and landed and on my ass to explain away the bruises. But to friends in the community I proudly show them off and they appreciate them with me.
Also, if you trust me with your secrets and people try to torture them out of me, I’ll probably get off on it and freak them out. So win win for you, buddy.
For your enjoyment, here is Britney Murphy pretending to be me.